Wednesday, October 26, 2005
arghh. bad stomachache this afternoon. i woke up at like 12pm la!missed my math mock. (no alliteration intended) and i'm now officially stressed. so few days left, and i aint doing anything. as if the more high strung i get, the less inclined i am to do anything about it. i keep thinking of breaking free, of all the fun, amazing things i'd be doing after the As.then i suddenly remembered what Mr Yong said long ago when i was a canoeist. people who really fail at mental preparation are actually those who visualize the end result, but not the painful process they would have to go through achieving the goal. Beginning with the End in mind is a good thing, but focus-ing solely on the End isn't.i hate this. i know im disappointing a lot of my friends who really care about me, but i hope they believe when i say that i want to work towards being my best; that i too, am concerned about the upcoming exams. i'm so sorry people, for making you guys worry yet again.after the As, i wouldnt be this sheltered anymore. i can't afford to live my life so irresponsibly anymore. what a scary thought. and like the pee icing on the shit cake, turns out that i want Australia, but my parents don't. why didn't they tell me this earlier?! i have no idea where i to go from here anymore. am i experiencing a mid-life crisis?! if i am, then im also highly likely to die at the ripe old age of... 38! which might not be a bad idea after all actually.. time to plan for my retirement. ok, i meant study.frankly speaking, i'm just a hot dog.
* smiled like she meant it @ 6:15 PM
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